Death of Our Loved Ones

Yes. No. I think these are none of these are easy questions, partly because part of us being close to a loved one is really wishing to communicate with them, to relate with them, to meet them more often, even to have a tea with them, etcetera, which of course will not be possible if they die. On the other hand, if I can remind myself and can also assist others, even the person who may be about to die, that the death of the body is not the death of the person. In fact, this is actually one of the commonest feature of all religious traditions. They may mean something quite different from it, but this expression that the death of the body is not the death of the person you can find in absolutely every religious tradition. So, therefore, the suggestion everywhere is that the person is not strictly speaking exclusively the body The body is only temporarily there.

So if I can also remember that, and if necessary, sometimes to remind others around me or the person. Then that really for some people, maybe not for everybody, but for some people, it actually calls them to be more interested in the journey of what can take place after this body dies. Now, how does one relate with this is only when one is quiet? Again, and again, I keep reminding people that actually I wanted to say this. If you don't mind, it'll take me a few minutes.

I often think there are five items all beginning with the letter a. First one is acknowledgement that I am you are everybody around us is only transiently here. Then next one is acceptance, to accept the fact that that is true, also true for me. And Personally, I feel that these two, they sound easy, but let me make a little bit of a background remark here. In any spiritual enterprise, really even in scientific studies, actually.

Initially, one is like a warrior. But very soon, one becomes a lover. One is just interested in something. And the third phase, which is uncommon, but actually there, if you look at any of the great scientists or poets or great sages, is that of a beloved I am more loved by god than I love god because from my loving god is just some idea I have. I don't know what god is or how do I go about loving it.

But more and more recognition that I love are. So if I see these three stages, the first two that I just mentioned, acknowledgement and acceptance really belong to the level of the warrior. One needs to try to understand this more and more one struggles with this, one argues with this person. My friend Kira asked me some question, one wants to argue and prove something convincing. That kind of thing.

It was very strongly there. But then the next stage is actually of agreement. Which basically is agreeing that there are subtler realities, and intentionally, internally acknowledging this more and more. But that that leads to the state of a lover. You're no longer trying to struggle for something. You agree that divine truth is there, pervading the whole universe, and that if I can allow it to touch me, it will touch me.

Otherwise, we keep saying everybody keeps saying God is omnipresent. But if I honestly face this, god is right here in front of you behind you around me inside me. Otherwise, what does it mean? God is omnipresent? But that agreement then allows that as closer to a reality. Now the other two words are both beginning with a, but they are coming from Sanskrit. One is Amanibhavam.

This is very strongly emphasized in every serious teaching that there are many levels of realities subtler than the mind. Amani Bava basically means freedom from the mind, quieting the mind. And very strong emphasis that mind cannot grasp the reality. So if I agree that there is subtle reality, to connect with it requires for me to actually see how can I quieten my mind? And another thing here I should say, silence is not absence of sound.

You can go into wilderness, brook may be flowing, leaves may be rustling. The and you can hear all kinds of birds may be chirping. But gradually silence begins to enter into you. One needs to understand that silence doesn't mean absence of sound. There is a bit of this kind of tendency. Otherwise, everybody should shut up or be quiet.

Some great sages, for example, I personally saw Krishna Murti could be in the supermarket and be internally completely quiet. It silence belongs to a different level of the mind, different level of being, if you like. So Amanimabhav doesn't mean to shut up everybody or to have the the world is never going to end. He's going to continue his own stick. So then But these two come from the level of becoming a lover.

I'm just drawn to something. I cannot not be there. And then the last one in my judgment, really concerned when one is available. When one is touched by something, it's not my grasping, it's not my achieving, then it is Ananda, joy. So these file a's are actually worth returning to again and again in my judgment. That covers one's whole life's mission.

And so if I see a friend of mine in a bad health, he's going to die. First of all, I need to be clear myself that I have some understanding about this. And then sometimes one can use these words and mention it to the others. Words are okay to convey something, but it's the feeling behind them, which is much more important. Even if I simply just touch somebody, not using an expression, But depending on the feeling I have in touching somebody, it can convey something.

So if I have a friend who is about to die, obviously a recognition and a reminder, that the death of the body is not the death of the person. I was in Russia in 1988 soon after the Soviet Union had resolved, and some of you may know the name of Peter Brooke, a very well known theater director. He's been a good friend of mine. He's now passed away. But he especially was little concerned that being in Russia, especially at that time, suddenly Russia had become very capitalist moving from Carmen.

You know, all their big communist leaders were owning all kinds of properties, etcetera, etcetera. And the visitors were quite apparently in danger there. So he asked one medical doctor whom he happened to know. To take care of me when I was in Russia. In fact, it was almost too much taking care of me.

I could hardly even go to the bathroom without him more or less accompanying me. It was taking so much. But the reason I'm mentioning this He said to me that in one of the hospices, in this was in Saint Petersburg, which is where I was. There is some character who has been a soldier and he is somehow insisting that he has to hear something in Sanskrit. Now, a soldier in the Soviet army.

So I said, well, if I mean, I was really not at all sure that this made any sense to me, but just because this doctor was taking care of me, I could hardly say no. So I went there and I recited something from the bhagavith Gita in Sanskrit. And I was told the next day he passed away. Now, what in what I'm simply mentioning this as an example of great mysteries in our own life. This man, why did he have any interest in hearing anything in Sanskrit? Being in the Soviet Army, but clearly maybe from a previous life or whatever else. Somehow, it actually assisted him to let himself go.

Otherwise, he was just hanging on there. So I was told. So the reason I'm saying this, that there are really many, many examples. People are gathering that near death experiences, we often end up talking with what we call near death experience when a person has actually died. It's more or less like nearing death experiences, slightly different expression.

And when one is coming close to dying, many, many examples coming from hospices that sometimes suddenly there is a light under the door, which there was no no reason for having that light. And somebody's hearing something, which nobody else hears, and somebody stands up. They can hardly even stand up otherwise. But they're as if shaking somebody's hand. So which is all of this is really a reminder that the death of the body is not the end of the person.

So little bit of this kind of reminder can assist the person who is facing death and can also assist those who are his relatives or friends like myself. And then the question is, this seems to vary from cultural background to cultural background. Strong suggestion not to insist on them staying here, staying alive because particularly from the perspective of the Indian tradition or really any tradition, that the spirit now needs to leave the body if I keep insisting, but it's also said, by the way, that hearing is the last faculty to go. I don't actually know the truth of this, but that's what I have heard several times. So, therefore, people would often recite something sacred, etcetera.

All that is very fine. But if you keep insisting, to keep them here, it apparently interferes with the journey of their soul. So very strong suggestion not to try to grab them, grab them here or keep them here. To actually wish them well on their journey, to assist the quality of their journey rather than hindering the journey.