Inner Workings: Instruments of Perception
Kira Sloane

Watch this Practice
dear kira,
thank you for the medicine of your tenderness and sensitivity.
such a beautiful relaxing and centering sequence.
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You are amazing Kira. I agree with Julia's comment. As I was going in to medatation I felt like I was being hugged. Tears came up. But when my mind started to think or question it , It slowly went away. Thank you.
Dearest Katherine, what a wonderful result! Thank you so much for letting us in on the experience. xok
what do you mean by tension will only relax unless it percieves a greater tension , what on earthe does this mean ,this is my big problem globally uptightness, so end up during the day in a mess, barring props a lovely dog I used to walk or a woman to hug, joke .. please help .
(part 1 of 3)
Hi there Richard. Nice to meet you, and thank you so much for asking for clarification.

(When I first tried to post my response, I was told it was too long, so I have to break it up into three pieces.)

I make this reference as a general statement based on my experience and research of how we (specifically our autonomic nervous systems) respond to support and a feeling of being held.

Ultimately our skill of awareness becomes the tool to offer the container for the unnecessary tensions to relax. Until then, we can work with the nervous system to communicate support.
(part 2 of 3)
1. Intelligence of the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)
The sympathetic nervous system is continually asking the question, "Am I safe?" Only if it gets back the answer, "Yes" will it give up its grip and let the Parasympathetic run the show. Its very difficult to convince ourselves that it's safe to relax. A physiological cue of support for an extended period of time is much more effective. I talk a little more about the autonomic nervous system here: ew/52/video/Yoga-The-Practice-of-Af fection-by-Kira-Ryder

2. Swaddling as a cure for infant anxiety
Research has shown that babies born to drug addicted mothers can be calmed through tighter than normal swaddling. m/article/208863-how-to-care-for-in fants-of-drug-addicted-mothers/
(part 3 of 3)
3. Calming Cows and Autism
Temple Grandin discovered a similar phenomenon of resulting ease from being held in her work in the cattle industry and within the autistic community. wiki/Temple_Grandin

Since my reference about it being difficult to cry without someone holding you did not translate, perhaps you can remember a time when you felt the relief of trusting someone else to be in charge. Or perhaps you are more intimate with the tension of being in charge and wish there was someone you could trust so you could relax. The nervous system acts very much the same way. Until the SNS perceives that all is well and good, she will remain in a high alert state creating a feeling of stress.

Our job as yogis is to start to be learn how to know and inwardly communicate that all is going to be just fine.

Does this help at all? If not, please help me answer your inquiry with more skill.

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Thankyou so much .

I have just returned from communion but without a lift to the free church am stranded again and then read your intelligent and well researched response to my question briefly wow !!

It is so lovely when others take the time to really answer properly , I am an intellectual ( scientist) by default so they (the links) will get followed up , Erich said something similar , "lossening one's grip" ain't easy around the tendons and bones , a grip onto something which on a deeper level isn't actually what we are led to believe it is ...Namaste
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Problem :

The conditions I find myself in are from ideal ie surrounded by people with intractable mental health /personality disorders in the small council estate , who often make noise till late at night ie TV's etc and drink, having over period of 6 years lost all my back teeth, no prsothetic yet , on benefit and this in itself makes me less confident, used to go to Osho leela for years, many great hugs there , then this stopped my partner ( soul -mate) left me 13 years ago , etc parents dead ..hugs are in very short supply...

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Part two :

So now what , Tarthang Tulku style massage ..
I do enjoy Yoga ( body work), but as you say the default is to uptighness my forhead looks like the map of a dried up river bed but apart from all this am well andfit if tired and prone to depression .

Any further help greatly appreciated , I feel I felt abandoned as a very small child and left in my cot, Mother brought up on Spock etc which fitted in with her neuroticism and so it goes on, the ghost of our pyschodtynamic past and life scripts come back to haunt us ! Then what , how can we respond to this ..?

From this space it is easy to sabotgae everyhting life , friendships , so yes RELAXATION is a Big One...
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