I am having trouble with the comparative judgement of being worse then others, Kira. Especially after trying to do Sarah’s classes. I think there are some things I will never be able to do since I am starting yoga at 53 and I have trouble accepting that. I understand that is contrary to what yoga is trying to teach me but my competitive nature keeps stepping in.
Hi June! You're on the right track as seeing what's happening clearly changes what's happening. Comparison is one of our great skills, and I am not sure it ever goes away. It does, however, get less sticky and confirming of being less than. The moment of comparison is in itself, not usually a problem. It's all the thoughts and feelings that follow that steal from us. (It's amazing how fast we can for from a simple, "her pigeon is better than mine" to "I'm fat, I owe the IRS, and my life is meaningless.")
June, desire is such an important alignment fuel to move us to do anything. It may seem petty to want to "be better" at a yoga pose, but we have to start with something. The closer attention to how we actually feel moving in, being with, and out of the shape, the richer our experience becomes. The more curious we are about the immense subtleties of our breath, mind and heart, the less it will matter how the shape looks on the outside. Just like rose is not intimated by an iris, so we do not feel less than another perfect human being in their unique bloom.